If your partner has left you, but you aren’t quite sure what caused the break-up, or you just aren’t ready to let the relationship end, then there can often be a lot of confusion as to what you should do.
Do you try to make it work with him and convince him to stay, or should you just let him go?
Knowing when and how to get your ex boyfriend to come back to you is one of the biggest concerns that woman have once the relationship has come to an end, according to the American Dating Society’s website.
The following tips may prove helpful for you to get your ex boyfriend back into your life.
1. Give It A Little Time
Obviously, if your ex has just finished things with you, then they more than likely feel the need for some space away from the relationship at the moment. Whether a particular event (like cheating) caused the break-up or if there is no definable reason, they are still likely to be needing some space alone for a while.
So the best thing to do at this stage is to give them what they need and back off for a little while. If you keep badgering him, you will simply come across as desperate or could even be perceived as a pain in the ass or a stalker.
A good rule to follow is the no contact rule, which basically states not to have any contact with your ex for around thirty days following the breakup. This can give you both some much needed breathing space and allow you time to re-group, reflect and re-consider what it really is that you are wanting from a relationship.
Once a couple has had this space, they are far more likely to be in a better position to know what they want. If it does in fact turn out that they still want to be with you, then this time away will have helped them realise that fact and more deeply value you as a person, the relationship and have a stronger connection with you long-term.
2. Make Your Feelings Clear
While you shouldn’t harass your ex, you do need to make it clear to them how you feel and that you want them back in your life. Don’t send a text message or an email, rather see them face to face if they are willing. Meeting in person is more personal, and it also shows that you are more serious about the message that you are delivering to them.
If they aren’t willing to meet you in person for whatever reason, send them a handwritten letter, perhaps with a thoughtful gift, making your feelings clear. Don’t do this repeatedly or you might end up pushing them further away.
A handwritten letter conveys a far deeper meaning than a text message or an email.
3. Take Responsibility
If your actions are to blame for the break-up, own up to the facts and apologize. Make sure that your apology is genuine. If their actions are the reason for the break-up, you may still have played a role in the events so take responsibility for this. Let them apologize for their actions and forgive, forget and move on if you are able to.
If you cannot determine the cause of the break-up, ask your ex for an explanation. This is important to repair the relationship and even if your ex doesn’t come back, will provide you with much necessary closure. If an explanation is not forthcoming, evaluate the relationship to identify what went wrong and try to make amends.
4. Make Them Jealous
This does NOT mean that you should go out and enter into a relationship with another person in the hopes that jealousy will drive your ex back into your arms. This tactic often has the opposite effect in fact, and can make you look rather pathetic if your tactics are discovered or obvious.
Rather show them that you are doing well without them and that they are missing out by not being with you. Buy a new outfit, change your hairstyle or find a new hobby or activity that you enjoy and that your ex may be interested in.
By going out with your friends more often and posting pictures of your fun times with them on Facebook and Instagram can show that you are getting along fine on your own. You don’t need to post images of you with another guy or girl; it can be as simple as showing that you are having a great time hanging out with your friends and doing things that you perhaps were not doing before because you were in a relationship.
Giving your ex a reason to come back is often more successful than begging and pleading. If there is any interest at all left on their part, soon they are likely to become curious about you and what you are up to. They will want to know what you have been doing and who you have been spending your time with.
If your ex does start to ask you this kind of questions, then it is definitely a good sign! Just play it cool and see where the conversation goes from there. At this stage, you may be in a good position to ask your ex to meet up for a catch-up.